Dude.

Expectations: Using the person next to you as a pillow.

Reality: Using the pillow next to you as a person.

brushing your teeth at night is a difficult thing to do because its like a semipermanent decision once you brush your teeth thats it you cant eat for the rest of the night and i just never know if im willing to make that commitment

my mom walked in as this popped up on my dash, and now it’s just really uncomfortable.

beastlyart:

manfurarm:

nevver:

Ladybird Mimic Spider

#fucking spiders man #ANYTHING could be a spider #you reach into your fridge and pull out a popsicle SURPRISE IT’S ACTUALLY A FUCKING POPSICLE SPIDER #you’re walking down the street and a hydrant tackles you GUESS WHAT COCKSUCKER #HYDRANT SPIDER #you reach out in the dark and flip on a light switch AND YOU’RE FUCKED IT WAS A LIGHT SWITCH SPIDER #YOU JUST GAVE A LIGHT SWITCH SPIDER A FUCKDAMN HANDJOB #NICE GOING YOU SKETCHASS ARACHNOFONDLER

Sketchass Arachnofondler. My new band name.

Reblogging for the tags.

ladyhistory:

spookynovice:

It taught me how to summon Satan with Hot Cross Buns

THAT COMMENT IS KILLING ME

omariospizza:

MARRY ME